When I met her 33 years ago, she was a beautiful lady in the early 1950s: tall, elegant and always smiling. She was a brave woman, resolute and faithful, successful as a mother and as a housewife. I was about 20 years old and very different from it. I belonged to another generation, from another ethnicity, with different traditions and customs. But two things were common to us. We loved the same God and loved the same man-Edmund, her son and my future husband. In less than 11 months since our first meeting, I became her daughter-in-law.
When I think about it today, first of all I want to tell you the experience I have acquired as a sender. Then I want to talk about current experiences that I have acquired as a mother-in-law.
First we will talk about the relationship between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law. In the Bible, we find a wonderful story about mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. That is the story of Naomi and Ruth. In it we read how Naomi held the routine baby in her arms, and how Naomi’s friends came to celebrate God and bless her grandson. Then they said that she gave birth to Ruth, saying: “… your daughter-in-law who loves you and which is worth more than even seven sons.” What a beautiful testimony to love between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law! Worth more than seven sons!
I remember that after reading this incident, Naomi and Ruth made a decision that I also want to be better than the seven sons of my mother-in-law. After all, she raised her son, who became my wonderful husband to me. It deserved it.
When I look around, I see that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in is very different from what it should be. For tense relations, envy, disrespect, and even hatred, unpleasant stories are written. Many families have a subtle war.
On the one hand, the mother-in-law does not accept the way she cooks, how she keeps children or how she dresses them. On the other hand, my daughter-in-law is ridiculed, she does not respect and ignores the mother-in-law. Between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law is constantly dominated by a match. The mother can not release her son and her daughter-in-law feels that her husband is not faithful enough. Is it necessary?
I remember how in the first years of marriage I talked about the possible tension between my mother-in-law and me. Then I said that her son would always love her. Edmund’s love for her and towards me differed. Then it helped us. My husband still loves his mother today. Also love between my husband and me did not decrease because of that. Even today, after 33 years of marriage, we want to be most of all by ourselves and be at one another’s disposal. You know the love between mother and son and love between husband and wife differ, but they also complement each other nicely.
Now that I have become a mother-in-law myself, I experience the same thing that my mother-in-law experienced. My children still love me as a mother, but I am happiest when they love their spouses and family. This means that I will refrain from interfering in their family affairs, but that I will be at their disposal and will help them as much as I can when asked. Someone said nicely: “There is always room for one in the mother’s heart.” I faithfully love all my children. How will we show and express our love, whether like a daughter-in-law or a mother-in-law? Do we want to talk about it?
I realized that the Bible, God’s Word, is a source of wisdom. In it we find the answer to all our life troubles. Let’s hear what the prophet Isaiah wrote in verse 7 in verse 7: “How wonderful are the feet of the glad news proclaiming the peace, bringing peace, bringing happiness and preaching salvation, speaking to Zion,” Your God reigns. ”
You may be asked what kind of relationship this is with your relationship with the mother-in-law, that is, your daughter-in-law? Let’s look closely at what it is all about. Let us hear once again what the Bible says: “How beautiful are the feet of the glad news of gladness, who announce peace, bring happiness and preach salvation, saying to Zion:” Your God reigns. ”
When you are in company with a mother-in-law, that is, your cousin, are your conversations quality? Are You Speaking of the Good News of Peace and Other Good Things? Do you talk about God and His rule in your life? Or maybe you are dealing with everything that seems wrong to you? It is much easier to get into the defensive by saying: “I am such and I do not want to change. Actually, you care about it! Or, “You will do as I say or it will not be good!”
Mutual acceptance can very hard fall. We must understand that raising, raising children and culinary techniques are far less important than the mutual way of showing love. But if we do not have love, we can not even give it. True love is God’s gift. When we humbly acknowledge our mistake and ask God to forgive us and change us, He begins to show us his love through us. Are you ready? I will repeat this through 4 principles.6
FIRST: Do not accept in your heart jealousy, envy, or competition for the love of your son (if you are a mother-in-law) or for a husband’s love (if you are a daughter-in-law). Think and distinguish between the son’s love for the mother and the husband’s love for his wife.
Second: We need to give our mothers more freedom for their children. We have received children on a short-term loan. When the son marries, we have to retreat and let him and his wife mature in love together and build their own family.
THREE: We have to accept the differences. Something different does not mean it’s wrong. It does not matter just what I think. We can respect each other in spite of differences.
FOURTH: Ask the Lord to forgive your selfishness and lack of love. When He dwells in your heart, you will be able to bring peace, joy, and love in your relationships. From my own experience, I can tell you that it is wonderful when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become friends!